Forbidden
by SoRightItsWrong
Summary: And she's not sure but she thinks rule number one is, 'thou shall not commit... this'


A/N: Not sure why I decided to add my fic right after the amazing _WhenLighteningStrikes_ story. Pshhh what am I thinking? Anyways I always listen to one song when I'm writing. This time it was Feel by Marie Digby. Beautiful song, I suggest you listen while you read!

Also-- The beginning is the present. The middle all a flashback. The end picks up where the beginning started. Should not be to confusing but I just wanted to clarify.

Comments are love you guys. I am very happy when I get favorite author and favorite story alerts but comments help me to write better! So please, even if it's constructive drop a hint!

Disclaimer: Wizards of Waverly Place is in no way, shape or form, mine. As I have said before if it was up to me this would not be a kid friendly show!

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And each step she takes feel's like a thousand words. (A thousand things she could have said but didn't... I love you. But I hate you.)

And as she passes each familiar face she wonders what life would have been like if things had been different. (If maybe they weren't like this.) It's almost to hard to imagine. Because sometimes its not the wondering that hurts, but the knowing what it could (should) have been like. (Satin sheets, rock music, and eerily similar brown eyes.)

He's waiting at the end of the aisle. And it's almost like he's there for her. (Only her.) But as eyes lock and emotions return she knows the truth. It will always be like this. (Someone's wanting and someone's waiting. And everyone is exactly the same.)

---

They were always on opposite sides. It wasn't like there was a middle for them. (Because a middle meant meeting. Lines crossed.) She was like fire. (Hot and passionate, and burning for him.) And he was like ice. (Smooth lines, serious, and melting when she touched.) And in the age old way of cliche's they were everything but together. (But she would hurt, he would help, and they would conquer the world together.)

---

It was one strangely intimate night in the Caribbean that life changed. Unspoken words ran between them, and in the flickering of the dying fire she felt this sickening feeling. It was wrong on so many levels but it couldn't be stopped. (Consequences and answers, facts and feelings, two opposite sides alone.) But as the whispered words continued she realized. He was never her brother. He was Justin. (Justin the guy with all the answers, all the problems, and all the solutions.)

And she never knew until now how devastatingly romantic a fire light conversation could be. (He made her perfect and she wanted... this.) The heat was electric and her fingertips grazed his with soft precision. And she knew him inside and out and that scared her. Because even if he didn't say it, his eyes told her. (I want you. I need to feel you. I have to touch you.... please.) She couldn't understand how this could have happened. This was her big brother. The one who not only read the rule book but carried it around in his back pocket. (And she's not sure but she thinks rule number one is 'thou shall not commit... this')

All she knows is that when he touched her she lost all reason. (And it was dark skies, warm sand, and sparks flying.)

---

The return to reality happens gradually. Weeks fall into months and she can't get rid of him. Physically of course he refuses to touch her. But she still has this feeling inside of her that she can't erase. (He still looks at her and she burns up. She stills glares and he melts.)

---

So she's never been particularly religious. But when the forbidden starts feeling like 'I love you' she doesn't know what to do. Praying hasn't worked for her in the past but she figures it's better than never knowing what can be done. (Except every time she closes her eyes she see's him. Hears him. 'Alex I need you.')

One day she opens the bible. (Hello thy name is Eve.) And soon Immoral and Sin have started to become part of her daily vocabulary. She starts making up deadly sins as well. ('In love with your brother' is topping the list but 'Lustful thoughts about family members' is next, followed by 'Immoral acts on a beach with a relative'.) It's almost wrong to admit but she tries to find solace in a priest. (Forgive me father it has been... never since I have last repented.) It's kind of anti-climatic because instead of feeling better she feels worse. (Now instead of her and him on a beach, their in one of those dark box things, where she met with the priest. And its wrong but kind of delicious.)

Soon she give's up on religion. Clearly praying is not what she needs. (What she needs is him.) And now its her fantasy journal all over again except instead of Dean playing a recurring role its him. After awhile she convinces herself she's happy. (But only with fantasy Justin. The one who would do anything for her and promises to love her forever.)

Yet, she stills finds herself crying late at night waiting for the real Justin to be the knight in shining armor. (The one who sweeps her off her feet and brings her far away where words like family and love are two different things.) And in her dreams its him and her. (I'll never let go Alex, I promise.) But in reality its him with someone else, and her all alone hiding from the world. That's the day she realizes that she can't keep waiting for her knight in shining armor who won't ever come. (So she stops.)

---

Soon she meets the perfect guy. (Justin's best friend at college.) He's everything different and that's what she needs. He makes her laugh at witty jokes, and party until the night is gone. He never nags her about her grades, friends, and life. (And he's never broken her heart.) Soon it's only at night that she can't keep the past away. (Serious composure, beautiful brown eyes, and the only person who really understood her.) Everything is perfect the day he asks her to marry him. (Except she almost stumbles on the yes. Brown eyes and a mouth screaming her name distract her.)

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She's wearing white and her hair is silky. He's in a black tux and everything should be perfect. But its not. (I need you. No.) She locks eyes and takes another step. (I want you. No.) Her eyes dart to the left and she sees her fiancee smiling with joy. (I have to have you. No.) Eyes back to _him_ and she thinks maybe its not right but she wants this beautiful man who (almost) resembles her. Because how can you erase what used to be? (Nights filled with loneliness, stars overhead, and a never escaping love.) Her white train flows out behind her and the music beats a rhythm. (Regret – pain – love – need – want – hate – lust .) Flowers flow around her like a dream but its not. (She's stuck in a nightmare. Lost.) She reaches the end of the aisle. And turns away from those forbidden hypnotizing eyes.

He was everything. (I love you. No.)


End file.
